• Ron RoXtar*

Girls Night Out with Amy Schumer and Iliza Shlesinger

July 29th 2018

What a way to double your pleasure on a Friday night in Montreal by having two of the biggest female comics performing one after the other at separate venues. First up we had Amy Schumer doing a 6 o’clock show at the Gesu followed by a 9:30 (which really started at 10 : 05) set by Iliza Shlesinger at the Olympia.

It was announced at the last minute that Amy Schumer would be doing two surprise shows which are obviously the test run for her new material as she goes out on her upcoming tour. New jokes were certainly what we got as she was constantly checking her notes that were on the menu from her hotel. This is her 11th appearance at Just For Laughs. What a change up from when she last sold out the Bell Centre.

Amy came on stage with no music and a single light. This was like watching her do Unplugged. From the start she wanted to let everyone know that in case you came to have sex with her forget it… and she proudly showed off her wedding ring. In her mind marrying a chef makes her a genius. She doesn’t understand how her husband likes to cook because he could just be lying down instead. To demonstrate how sex changes after marriage Amy literally got on her hands and knees on the stage to show the sex position she has to help the man with, as he just kneels there.

One of her best new jokes came early. She told how she was recently eating sushi and saw some paparazzi preparing to take pictures. As Amy prepared to have her picture taken she noticed no one was taking her picture at all. Instead they were photographing Amal Clooney of whom  even Amy wanted to take pictures of.

Schumer’s female oriented comedy hits on very personal matters such as asking for a tampon at the gym but then is confronted with the question “What size?” Thinx is a new kind of underwear you can wear when you’re on your period. That’s okay because according to Amy she’d already invented this with every single underwear she has worn.

Of course with Schumer there was the expected jokes of her self image. Especially when she told how much weight she’d gained over the winter that now even her coats don’t fit. She also wants to go into a department store fitting room and not feel like taking her own life after looking in the mirror

There was also the funny stories of how her mother makes scrapbooks of Amy. However this is not as cute as the audience thinks, since her mom prints out things about Amy she sees on the TV such as “Is Amy a racist?” or “Is Amy pregnant or just fat?”

She admitted that she’s met Harvey Weinstein three times and not once did he approach her or even look at her chest. She tried to get backstage at a Bill Cosby show and was turned down which lead Amy to ask “Why not, me too?”

Iliza Shlesinger’s show was the exact opposite of Schumer’s. This was a rock show with a display of lights as Iliza came out stomping and hands clapping to Queen’s We Will Rock You, wearing cut off at the knees black pants. Like Schumer she was also proud to let everyone know she got married. A huge portion of the first part of her show was based on the obligatory question of “How did you guys meet?” Iliza admitted she met her husband on a dating app. Supposedly women get excited about answering that question, not so much men.

A female secret truth that Iliza let us men know is that women bag up their issues and walk them into the next relationship. The new boyfriend welcomes a woman to the new union thinking you’re well adjusted while she unpacks all her previous baggage.

With Iliza being proud of her marriage she told stories of the things she did not do at her wedding. Schlesinger overtly demonstrated the entire concept of the removal of a garter belt to which your whole family would be watching. She also didn’t do the weird veil in front of her face, because why cover your face when you’ve been spending days on your hair and make up? She also had several words to describe why she didn’t do a bouquet toss, since it’s mean to do this to all your single friends. She also didn’t do her bachelorette party in Vegas. It’s basically a bunch of drunken zombies in sashes and the bride covered in plastic penises for some bizarre reason.

There seems to be a misconception about who actually saw who first in the single life. In her deepest guy voice Iliza imitated a man saying “There I was minding my own business, not looking for anyone and there she was.” But surprise guys supposedly women have already scanned every molecule of a man from his chipped tooth to wallet chain, before he even walked up to the bar. This way women will determine by percentage if the man is even allowed in the stratosphere of trying to talk with them.

Another difference between men and women is that a woman is never found to be creepy. Not even if Iliza were to go to a school dressed in a hospital gown with a raccoon on a leash. All guys have to do to be creepy is part their hair the wrong way.

It would be great to see Amy and ILiza do a show together since so much of their material was based on the same subjects and then completely different. Can we say I am woman, hear me roar?

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